the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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