Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
