Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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