Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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