i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The ass gains better be worth it
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