dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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