After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
