I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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