I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
