so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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