oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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