Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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