It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
