I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm passing your future prison.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am available for nakedness
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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