Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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