the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
