How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize