I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize