I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
