that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
