Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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