so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
