After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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