Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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