Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
