mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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