Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
