the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
