Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
