i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
