So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
