i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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