No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
