3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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