This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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