Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
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