try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Text me some of your sweat
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize