I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
