i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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