Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
