i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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