i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
