Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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