so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
