No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I hope mine doesn't look like that
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
