I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
