yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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