just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
