I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
