It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My friends, they love my intelligence
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
