You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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