And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
