I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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