The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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