its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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