3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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