I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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