Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
