You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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