Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
