: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
