At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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